Help Me To See

For the longest time, I could only see what was right in front of me. My vision was limited because my thoughts were corrupt, and I would often compromise who I was just to be accepted by people I wasn’t too fond of. I always wondered and asked, “Who am I, and Lord, why did you have to make me this way?” When I looked at other people, they always seemed to have more than I did, whether it was confidence, appearance, a better family dynamic, or love; I always felt like I was missing something. I didn’t realize that my eyes were conditioned only to see the worst, which resulted in corrupted thoughts. For years, I struggled with myself, wondering how I could escape this toxic cycle, wondering if I would ever truly love myself, wondering if I would ever have the eyes to see what others spoke about me. They would always say you’re great and the Lord will use you to do great things, but why did I always feel so low and incapable? I didn’t understand how the Lord could use someone who is often overlooked. I couldn’t see myself, so why would the Lord be looking to use me? I was broken, lost, confused, prone to self-sabotage, and I often allowed my thoughts to drive me to dark places. The more I sank into the abyss, the harder it became for me to escape alone. I reached a point where I no longer saw the light, and that’s when I knew I needed help from a source beyond me.

Even though I was in this dark place surrounded by dead things, something inside of me wanted to live, it wanted to fight! Then I heard a voice within me say, “You will make it out of here.” That voice differed from the voices I usually heard, so I stood up to repeat and declare what was said to me, and shouted, “I will make it out of here!” I was so deep in this hole I created that when I looked up, I still couldn’t see a trace of light, but I began to climb anyway. Every reach and every step were a struggle, but I kept climbing anyway. The voice that gave me hope was the Holy Spirit within me, and he awakened a cry that had been locked up for years. I said Lord, help me to fight and give me the strength to climb. Each cry to the Lord gave me access to power that I never knew I had, and though I couldn’t see my way, I followed the light that began to burn inside me and kept climbing. When I finally made it out of the dark places, the light was too bright at the top; it blinded me because I wasn’t used to seeing with clarity. My prayer then changed to “Lord, help me to see!” Help me to see that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Help me to see and understand that you love me and that your thoughts towards me are of peace and not of evil (Jeremiah 29:11). Help me to see that things that I think are impossible are actually only possible with you Lord (Luke 18:27). Help me to see that everything I am looking for, everything I need, and everything I desire can only be fulfilled by keeping my eyes on you and not people (Psalm 23).

So today, it is your turn to climb and choose to fight! It is your turn to break the toxic cycle of self-doubt! It is your turn for clear vision! May the scales fall from your eyes so you can see what the Lord sees! It is your turn to honestly cry out to the Lord and say, “Lord, help me to see!” You don’t have to compromise who you are to fit in; you must learn how to show up as yourself boldly. When a room doesn’t accept you, it’s because they’re not ready for you yet or because that room is not for you. You can’t let life pass you by, and I won’t allow you to. It’s time to fight and declare that you will make it out! You can no longer make your home in dark places. You must believe that every dry, desolate, and dead area in your life can be brought back to life! (Ezekiel 37:1-14).

Lord, I thank you for touching your people today! May your love begin to fill them up, and may your fire begin to cleanse them, oh Lord! Help them see what you have said about them. Please help them to depend on you and only you. Help them know your voice! In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen!
 
Let’s keep climbing together ❤️

Originally written on 4/23/24