Give Yourself Grace
Motherhood is a journey that must be experienced to gather an understanding of its complexities. When you read about it, you’ll find many tips and tricks to help you achieve success along the way. However, what you ultimately come to understand is that you must create your own path and do what works for you and your family’s dynamic. At certain points in motherhood and life in general, we’re faced with a question: Why does everything have to be so hard? Or a better question might be, Why am I so hard on myself? Sometimes it feels as though one thing after another happens, and things just become overwhelming, but why does this happen suddenly?
What I’ve realized is that when we shove our emotions into a figurative closet, the day we choose to open it and speak on one thing, everything seems to fall out at once, causing a mess. So even though I’m currently mad that my child spilled a drink after I just cleaned up, I’m also frustrated because I feel like I always have to do everything, I’m wondering will I ever get a break, will I ever know what true peace of mind is, will there ever be a time when I can feel free to just be myself without having to worry about everyone else… and so on. The job of a mother is so demanding that if we’re not careful, we could lose ourselves and miss out on the most beautiful thing, which is our family. Therefore, the best way to cope is to be present and shift our perspective. This now allows you to ask, Why am I so hard on myself?” You must realize that your first child made you into a person you’ve never known before, and as you’re teaching them, you’re learning yourself. You’re discovering what true selflessness is, how to patiently endure, and how to cultivate a safe environment for your children to grow and express themselves in ways that you weren’t able to as a child. There’s no manual, but every day you make the decision to push forward and figure it out! You choose to love and give the best of yourself, the best way you know how. Doesn’t that count for something? It definitely does!
Everything that demands our attention is something we asked for or wanted. A bible verse I always remind myself of is, “To whom much is given, much is required…” (Luke 12:48). Meaning that the more I get, the more I have to work to maintain what I have. My perspective switches from feeling drained and beaten down to feeling blessed! I realize that I have people who love and need me to show up so they can be great. My purpose is not to slave away my days to make sure the time goes by quickly, but to learn to cherish each moment because once they’re gone, I can’t get them back. I choose to fight for my peace instead of letting depression pull me in. I choose to see obstacles as challenges that I can win and overcome. I choose to believe that I am the right person to nurture my family because without me, they’ll be missing something great.
Encouragement
So, to the mother reading this, please give yourself grace and, in challenging moments, shift your perspective. A mother who decides to show up is an amazing woman. She is the embodiment of strength, the source of love, and the curator of possibilities. She knows how to make something out of nothing; obstacles invoke her creativity, and she usually has a natural burning fire within that speaks greatness. A mother is only part of who you are; a nurturer is only part of who you are; take time to find the rest of you. Time and circumstances can shift your passions, but they should never extinguish them. Don’t let your closet fill up with unspoken emotions; find ways to express yourself and invite the Lord into your affairs. As a mother, it can sometimes feel like we have to be everything to everyone in our home, and it’s easy to put ourselves on the back burner. Don’t forget to show up for yourself because when mom is happy and healthy, the family flourishes. If you show up for them, know that your children are very blessed to have a parent like you. Great mothers seize every opportunity to ensure their children’s days are filled with joy and happiness. Always remember that when things get tough, it will only last a moment. Don’t smother your fire; go on a journey to discover who you are now. Shift your perspective when necessary and embrace the fact that you’re the woman who makes things happen.
Give yourself grace. Always ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you, and allow God to be God!
CBLH
Originally written on 6/22/23 to encourage a friend of mine.